Joe Kalicki is a valued member of Ultimate Central. Joe Kalicki resides in Joliet, Illinois and therefore he has the constant lingering smell of depression and disappointment. Joe Kalicki claims that this smell is actually the result of spending too much time in a bus. Despite his choice of residence, Joe Kalicki is actually good people. It is likely that this is because he wasn't born within the city limits of Joliet.

Colorful employment history
He is currently employed as a security guard. Probably. He goes through three jobs a month and is constantly searching for places where he can get paid to surf the internet. Speculation persists that Joe Kalicki may have been the driver of the truck punched by the watcher on the Best Day Ever, leading some to believe that his appearance on the board was originally intended as a precursor to an as yet unfulfilled mission of vengeance.

Tastes and preferences
Joe Kalicki has shown in the past that he is a fan of the MILFs.

Experiences at Ultimate Central
Unlike the vast majority of the board, Joe Kalicki refuses to change his avatar and he doesn't bother to personalize his signature. Joe Kalicki is also a post-whore and has a ridiculous number of posts. Most of his posts serve no purpose other than to draw attention to himself because his massive ego requires near constant stroking. At his current post rate he is set to pass the post counts of everyone except Ice by the second quarter of 2009.

Despite this wasteful posting he has made the occasional worthwhile contribution to the board, including the creation of threads such as Should Superman eat human brains? and co-creating Wade Wilson's Cabana with Iceshadow and the glorious McCheese. Joe Kalicki is a Cubs fan and thus is deserving of a great deal of pity.

Joe Kalicki once bought a two belt combo pack from a K-mart at Wizard World Philly 07. The other belt was given to thee great one. He also shared a bloody hamburger with E at Wizard World Chicago 07.

He owes McCheese 1 beer, to be collected at Wizard World Chicago 2008.

It should be specially noted that Joe Kalicki must be always called by his full name. ALWAYS.


Joe Kalicki is at times known as Jennifer.